I refuse to be reduced by it


In response to the Mary Kate Wile’s anon post saying how the anon was happy for Lydia’s relationship with Wickham…

I am astonished by how many people were happy for Lydia and her relationship with Wickham. As I looked at the comments I saw people who shipped them, loved them together, and gushed over how in love the two were.


Now, before you go saying, “You can’t tell me who I ship, gush over, etc.”, yes, I know, I cannot. You have the right to ship whoever you want. If you want to ship Caroline and Mr. Collins, by all means, ship on. Same goes for Lydia and Wickham *cringe* However, I am here to tell you some reasons why you shouldn’t ship Lydia and Wickham.

First, Lydia is NOT in a healthy relationship. Wickham is abusive. He is psychologically abusing her and he is emotionally abusing her. He toys with her emotions to control her. He emotionally abuses her by loving her conditionally. NOT unconditionally. I know what, you’re thinking, “Wickham says he loves her unconditionally.” , yeah, he does say that, but what is he doing before he says that? He’s getting offended. When Lydia talks about her sisters and reaching out to them he acts hurt. He acts as if Lydia doesn’t care about him and how she doesn’t think he’s enough for her. He makes her feel guilty. He makes her feel BAD FOR WANTING TO TALK TO HER SISTERS. He takes his love back when Lydia isn’t acting the way he wants her to—when she isn’t loving him enough. THEN, after he makes her feel terrible, he says how he “loves her unconditionally”. He makes her feel like crap, and makes himself out to be the saint. A boyfriend should never do that. Ever. 

He talks about how Lizzie and Jane don’t love her unconditionally and aren’t there for her. He is ISOLATING HER FROM THOSE WHO LOVE HER. He makes her feel like she has to pick between him and her sisters. And once she picks him he bashes her sisters and talks about how terrible they are in front of her, knowing full well that she loves her sisters and wants to reach out to them. THIS IS NOT OKAY. This is psychological abuse.

Lydia may seem happy, she may say she is happy. She may say and seem like she is in love. THAT DOESN’T MEAN SHE IS HAPPY. THAT DOESN’T MAKE IT LOVE. THIS IS NOT LOVE. (Ever heard of Stockholm syndrome? When hostages have feelings for, even claim to love, their capturer? I’m not saying Lydia is a hostage. What I am saying is just because you say you love someone doesn’t mean it’s love.)

Lydia is lonely. She feels abandoned by her family and everyone she cares about. She is desperate for someone to come and care for her. Wickham took advantage of her emotional vulnerability by swooping in and telling her everything she wants and needs to hear.

As each video progresses she becomes paler, has darker circles under her eyes, is sicker. She is not healthy. She has become introverted—that doesn’t mean being introverted is bad, but Lydia Bennet, I think we can all agree, is NOT an introvert, she is bubbly and happy and loud. She has become dependent upon Wickham and unconfident, completely opposite to the Lydia in early videos.

This relationship is not good. SHE DESERVES A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP. Not this. SHE DESERVES TO BE HAPPY. Not dependent on an abusive boyfriend who manipulates her. SHE DESERVES TO LOVE AND BE LOVED. Not loved conditionally and made to believe she is in love.

Please, understand that Lydia’s relationship with Wickham is abusive. HE IS AN ABUSIVE DOUCHE NOZZEL. I, like everyone else, want Lydia to be happy and in love, but her relationship with Wickham gives her neither of these things.

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